Down for the Count

Okay so I haven't posted in 9 days but I've had an excuse for the last 7. I've been sick with no idea what I have or how I got it. I guess I should go to the doctor and find out what's up with me but I worry by the time I actually get there, I won't be sick anymore and everyone will think I'm faking it. Trust me I am not, and my hubby can agree to it! So as much as I've hated being sick, it's been good for me in one way. I've lost 2 pounds! I know that's nothing to get super excited for obviously because it's only 2 pounds but it give me a slight glimmer of hope that it will be possible to lose the weight. I've got to start talking to myself in a more positive manner and here's one thing I started subconsciously saying without even realizing it until my husband pointed it out. I always used to say things like " Oh IF I were skinny, then ....." Now I've started saying "WHEN I'm skinny....." By saying that I eventually will be skinny, I'm helping myself to believe that it's actually going to happen :)

So last night I was having a conversation with a co-worker and we were talking about being overweight and whatnot. She said something that really struck me. She was talking about how she didn't want to be seen by former friends or people from high school because of weight gain. She talked about how being "fat" was always in the back of her mind. She said "I'll be like 'Yeah, we're going bowling! But oh yeah, I'm fat." I realized that I do the same things everyday. And I thought to myself about how many times I've said I didn't want to do something that I really wanted to do just because I was worried about being fat and what people would think of me. So I've decided, after being inspired by my friend Candice, to make a "SKINNY BUCKET LIST" aka the list of things I want to do when I'm skinny.

1. Have my husband carry me over the threshold without him having to put me down immediately afterward

2. Feel comfortable enough to wear bikini (maybe, if the stretch marks fade nicely, a one-piece without cover-up if not) and not care

3. Start taking a bajillion pictures with my husband/friends

4. Go to the mall and try on tons of cute clothes because I'll finally be able to fit into them

So that's all I can think of for now but basically ya'll get my drift. I've also complete my fitness dream board and I'll take a picture tomorrow and get it posted up here. So until then, I'm off to make a new workout play list to get back into my motivation.