Eh.....

I don't have the motivation to write. I feel like I have nothing of importance or value to talk about. I'm just stuck and not going anywhere. Maybe my blog has died.

StS Day 7

Well I did my weigh in today. I was beyond depressed. Minus the brownie incident, I thought I had been doing pretty good with my eating and even though I had been less than diligent with my workouts. I figured I'd still be the same or maybe a few ounces under but no. I'm up 3 pounds. Like I said, beyond depressed. I started feeling really down on myself and I all sorts of ready to just give up. I have hit my highest weight of 223 and in my mind I felt like I had done all this hard work so I couldn't understand how I had ended up here. Then I realized that it's my own fault and I have no one and nothing else to blame for where I'm at right now.

I've been putting in less then 100% on my part and quite honestly I'm sick of it. I know I've said I need to step it up and really put my heart into it but I don't think I ever really believed it until today. I thought I could just do the bare minimum and somehow manage to make it work. I CAN'T DO THAT!!!!!!!!! I need to buckle down and really put in a huge effort. I need to get myself on a sleep schedule and get up and work out. I need to make my menus and stick to them instead of  just being lazy about it. I need to focus on my portion control and really try hard to stick to it. I also need to believe in myself and know that I can make this happen. I don't know how many of you read my post about losing weight to start a family but that's been on my mind a lot today.

My sister S has been in an adoption process for about 12 weeks. The baby mama gave birth this morning making my beautiful sister a first time mommy. I am so happy for her and so excited to meet my little niece Iz, but it reminded me of my goal of wanting to be a mommy myself and how I'm not working towards that goal at all. Hubby is wanted to get pregnant when we get home from our anniversary trip. So first off, I need to lose the weight for our trip but I also have to lose it to be able to have a healthy pregnancy. I'm sure once I lose the weight though I'm going to want to wait to get pregnant so I can keep the weight off for a while. Either way I need to lose weight to obtain my ultimate goal of starting a family.

So I'm having a change of heart here and now. I'm not going to slack off any more. I'm going to make sacrifices and I'm going to put in the effort. I'm going to make changes for the better and I'm going to prevail!!!!!!!

StS Day 4

Well I'm sure this will come as no shock to people who know me but I'm sick again. Pretty sure my Hubby got the 24 hour flu that's flying around and of course I just managed to catch it as well. I think part of being overweight is that i have a weakened immune system. I don't know this for a fact but either way, I have a crap immune system and I get sick ALL the time. So I'm down for today. No exercising and just slowly eating saltine crackers so that I don't end up throwing up again. Exceeding my water goal today though. So far I've had 6 water bottles. That's 144 ounces so far for the day. Yes I've been to the bathroom frequently, minus the "stage fright" at workmed when I had to pee in a cup for a pre-employment drug test. Took me almost 2 hours to finally get it over and done with, even though I'd had tons of water. Psh, oh well. The most important thing is that I'm staying hydrated and it's even more important now that I'm sick and throwing up and such. I'm hoping and praying this really is only a 24 hour bug, the nurses at workmed said it's a 3 day flu and that's not something I can do. Off to continue my rest and relaxation so I can get better. Find a way to feel P.H.A.T today!!!!!!!!

StS Day 2

Alright so day one of the Slimmer this Summer challenge(StS) was yesterday and lets just say that I might have forgotten.....

I ended up drinking 3 out of 4 water bottles and I was pretty proud of myself for that. I didn't get to my exercise DVD but I did do about 4 hours of housework and packing. So that balances out right? I was doing pretty well with my eating until it got to about 9 pm. I was really craving mint brownies so I told my father-in-law that if he brought me the brownies, I'd clean his fiance's bathroom. I sold out for some brownies and ended up ruining my whole eating for the day. Complete bummer I know but I thought I did much better today.

I'm not counting calories or anything because I'm completely awful at it and don't have the patience to figure out all the calories so I've been working on portion control. I need to work on it a little more and make sure I'm adding healthier items into my menu. Overall though, I think I did okay. There is still definitely room for improvement on the eating front but that's what this challenge is for right? To learn to get into the groove of things and get slimmer! I did my walking to. Granted it was only 30 minutes but that's because I was so tired I could barely keep my eyes open. I was proud of what I did though so that helps things. I definitely got my heart rate up and I was feeling the burn! I did more housework today and I'm going to go spend some time on the stair stepper once I finish this post.

This first week of figuring things out is a little more complicated then I thought it would be but I'm looking forward to the challenge. I'm ready to start shedding the weight!!!!!!! I'm totally feeling so PHAT right now!

Getting Slimmer this Summer!!!!!!!

Alright so I've joined a blog challenge. It's called Slimmer this Summer and there's a little thing on the left side of my blog if you want to check it out! I'm new to the whole challenge thing but I'm pretty excited about it. The challenge runs for 12 weeks and the "rules" are pretty simple. You come up with a few goals like how much weight you want to lose, how many times a week you're going to exercise, etc. You're accountable for yourself and your progress or lack there of so you have to do at least one blog post a week, even if you have a less than stellar week ya still gotta write about it so everyone can give you words of encouragement! Oh and that's another rule, NO NEGATIVITY!!!!!! We're here to support each other, not bring each other down. So always stay positive, not only for yourself but for the other people in the challenge as well. Anyway, to learn more, check out that link I mentioned above and see for yourself! I think it's going to be great!!!

So now onto my goals. I've been struggling to think of which goals I'd like to work on and how exactly I would go about doing them. I think I've got my goals narrowed down and I'm feeling pretty good about them but then again, knowing me, I'll probably think of more goals to add or revise my goals in the next couple of days. Well here we go......

1. Lose 20 pounds and keep it off!!!!!!!

2. Drink 96 ounces of water a day! That's my Camelbak water bottle filled up 4 times!  

3. Establish a workout routine that involves 4 workouts a week plus three walking days! I'm thinking workout DVDs on Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday and walking Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday.

4. Fit back into my cute green shirt without it being tight! A little over 9 months ago I bought a cute green shirt to wear to the airport for my hubby's homecoming from his mission. That day is the one and only time I've worn the shirt since it's purchase. I went to wear it the other day and it no longer fits! So it's my goal to get back into this shirt!

So for now those are the goals I'm working on. I've still got one running around in my head but I'm not sure exactly how to put it into words or how to make it happen so that's one I still need to think about. I'm really super excited to work on these goals especially since we're taking a trip in January for our 1 year anniversary to......

We went there for our Honeymoon thanks to Hubby's wonderful cousin A. She's hooking us up again so we can celebrate our anniversary in the place "Where Dreams Come True", which makes me especially happy since my Hubby is my DREAM COME TRUE!!!!! When we went this past January, I weighed in at about 220, same as now. I'd like be to under 200 and maybe back down to my pre-mission weight of 184. I'd like to look a lot different in these pictures this time around. Well that's about all for this post as of now, I don't want to keep it going cause I don't want to get you all bored :) I do however have one final picture to post that I've been promising to post for a while so here it is. My dream board!!!!!!

I'll see you all back here in a few days to give an update to the challenge!!!!