Slacking

I haven't had the motivation to write a blog post in a while obviously. I've been slacking on everything and believe me, it hasn't been pretty. Since May is about to wrap up, I can officially say that I failed on every one of my goals for the month. That's not something I'm proud to admit but at least I'm being honest about it, right?

I've signed up to join a challenge called Slimmer This Summer. I'm supposed to be making goals for the challenge and writing them here in my blog but the dumb thing is, I can't think of a single goal I want to complete. Of course there are MANY goals I want to complete but I can't seem to pin it down to just a few. I feel like making one goal leads to making another goal and another and another until all you are doing is working on goals but then you forget which goals and since you're working on so many you don't see any of the progress being made! Sigh.......it's a vicious vicious cycle my friends.

One a happier note, I have a new reason to kick my butt into gear and work hard to lose some weight. My hubby and I are planning something for our one year anniversary in January and I'd like to look better this time around in the pictures that we take. Part of our plan to make this adventure happen is to STOP EATING OUT!!!!! We waste so much money for something that only lasts for a few minutes and not to mention the way it ever so annoyingly adds extra pounds to my already obese frame. I feel really good about this change. Buying groceries, following a menu, eating smaller portions, it's going to be so good for me! That's something I'm really excited about actually. It'll help me shed weight from my body and add some weight to our checking account! It's going to be bomb.com. Anyway, I'm off the think of my goals for the challenge and do one of my workout DVDs and the stair-stepper.

No Pain, No Gain

NO PAIN, NO GAIN

Sometimes I wonder about this quote. I know it means you have to do the work and feel the pain to get the what you want or the gain. But other times I think "NO GAIN" and in my mind that's exactly what I want, NO GAIN. I don't want to gain anymore weight! I told ya'll about how I lost 4 pounds when I was sick. Unfortunately I gained 2 back but I've managed to keep the other 2 off! I'm rather proud of myself. Small steps at a time my friends, small steps at a time.

Other times I think of the quote like this quote "NO LOVE, NO PEACE. KNOW LOVE, KNOW PEACE." So now instead of NO PAIN, NO GAIN it shall be known in my mind as KNOW PAIN, KNOW GAIN!!!!! I always wimp out at the gym because I feel a little bit of pain and immediately have to stop. I know it's not good to keep working through the pain, I guess I mean I feel the burn and I give up. I'm never going to see results if I don't do the work. So frustrating I know but there are no magic cures when it comes to weight loss. Reminds me of the Saved by the Bell episode I watched yesterday. Screech invents this "miracle" zit cream that gets rid of pimples in about 2 hours. Zach decides to sell it to everyone in school, including his love Kelly, only to find out after from Screech that the cream turns your face maroon! The morale of the story is there isn't a quick fix for things like that, not zits, not weight loss.

I went on a hike today with my hubby, sister, and bro-in-law. Now mind you this isn't a bad hike, not by any means. But I kid you not, not even 5 minutes into it and I was already stopping because my legs were burning, I couldn't breathe, and I was just plain struggling. I was so embarrassed! I knew I was out of shape but honestly I didn't know it was that bad. I kept stopping on the trail to let other people pass me and there was a couple that got up to the top and back before I even got to the half way point. Good thing I was wearing my sunglasses so no one could see me cry. I eventually made it to the top but by then I was just dying to get out of there. I just couldn't believe that a 3 mile(total) hike was so hard for me. On the way down, my sister stated that her and her hubby would like to do that hike twice a week and invited us to join them. I looked at her as if she was crazy and firmly stated that I hate hiking and don't want to do it again. However I want to be able to complete that hike without having to stop every few minutes or being so out of breathe that I can barely talk. I don't want to be that out of shape! So I guess I'm going to have to go along with the gang and participate in these hikes. Eventually I'll be able to make it, right?

I still managed to smile after the hike

Some Days Are Better Than Others

So this past week I've been working on my goals. So far I'm doing pretty good with drinking my water. I obviously have to pee more than normal but I'm still keeping it up.  Unfortunately I haven't been able to give up the soda. I don't know what it is but I just like it too much! BLEH!! I'm still working on it though.

Thanks to my Mommy (Happy Mother's Day!!!) for getting me a Kindle two Christmases ago because I was able to download the scriptures and I can read them anytime, anywhere! I guess that works for reading my scriptures but it doesn't exactly help to set up a study schedule because I am reading them randomly. Don't get me wrong, I ABSOLUTELY love my Kindle and having all my books at my disposal whenever I want, but there's just something different about actually holding the scriptures in your hands, being able to mark them up, underline your favorite passages, write side notes about how the verse relates to you. Yeah you can highlight, underline, and make notes on Kindles but it's just not the same when it comes to your scriptures so I'm still working on that.

My recycling efforts haven't gone anywhere. I've just been to lazy for that lately which is a really bad excuse I know but that's the truth. I'm going to do a little more research tomorrow and find out what more I can do. I'm still working on my mantra for positive thinking and I also still need to get a picture of my dream board up on here. I'm just slacking all over the place lately. Especially with my working out. I'm getting really frustrated with myself about that. I really am. I don't want to be fat anymore! I want to be fit, be healthy, I WANT TO LIKE WHAT I SEE IN THE MIRROR!!!!!!!!! Sigh...........I have no one to blame but myself for how I look and for the fact that nothing is changing. I need to whip myself into shape and just get going on it!!!! It's going to happen!!!!

It's a new month!

It's May 1, 2011. The biggest change happening this month is that I will be turning 21!!! I am somewhat excited but at the same time, kinda scared. Getting older means having more responsibility and just other things that scare/worry me. I have 3 days left as a 20 year old. I guess I just better enjoy it, huh?

So I've decided that I don't want this blog to be just about my weight loss efforts. Which, in a sense, I guess it's not. I'm working on three aspects of my life : to be Pretty, to be Hot, and to be Tempting. However all three of those things seem similar to me. I feel like everything I wanted to focus on has to do with my appearance, and while I do want to change my appearance obviously, I also want to become a better person in the process.

I wanted to become more involved in Church, grow closer to the Lord, build stronger relationships with my husband/family/friends, become more charitable, work to help save the planet, etc. There's just so many things I want to improve on to become a better person not only on the outside but on the inside as well. So I've decided to set  a few different small goals that helped to work toward each of the things I want to achieve.

1. For my health goal, I want to not drink soda for the whole month and start drinking at least 2 full water bottles daily. I have a camelbak water bottle that is 24 ounces so drinking 2 a day is 48 ounces and I think that's a pretty good place to start right?

2. For my religion goal, there are two parts. Attend Church every Sunday no matter how tired I am from working graveyards the night before. And establish a scripture reading schedule to where I'm not only reading my scriptures every day but actually studying them and trying to learn everything I can from them.

3. Inspired by my bestie whose motto is "We Are The World", I'm going to start a recycling effort. This might be a little hard in my home because my husband doesn't care about it but I really want to work on it. I'm going to talk to my bestie and see what she does with her recycling and I'm really going to make an attempt at this. I want to help save our planet before it comes down to us having nothing left!

4. To improve my overall self esteem, I'm going to come up with a positive mantra to repeat to myself every morning, or just throughout the day when I'm feeling down about myself. I'm going to think about the mantra tonight and then I'll let everyone know tomorrow. But having great self esteem will have a positive impact on every part of my life and that's something I'm looking forward to!

Okay, this post is long enough already but I'm excited to be working on these goals for this month! It's going to be excited to see how things change!

*I laugh everyday. People like me. I am unique. I like to smile*