Well Here We are Again

Hello readers, whoever you may be.

I'm back to writing on this here blog. I need something to keep me accountable. I need more motivation, seriously.

I had a health scare yesterday. I was pretty convinced that my pre-diabetes and become full-blown diabetes. I was having a lot of weird symptoms and so I figured I'd better go get it checked. My hands were shaking so badly while I was waiting at the Dr's office that I could hardly hold my phone to text my husband updates.

Once I was finally called back into a room, the whole process was pretty fast. We found out that I did not, in fact, have diabetes but we needed to figure out what was wrong with me anyway so we started talking about everything. Lately I've been having chronic fatigue, as in in no matter how much I sleep, I can't get enough and I am always tired. It's affecting everything in my life!

The Dr decided to change my depression medication, do some blood work to test my thyroid, and ordered a sleep apnea test. I'm only 22 for goodness sake! My health should not be this bad. I shouldn't have all these problems but unfortunately I do. Every trip to the Dr ends with a "things would be better if you lost some weight." I know. I know. I get it, okay? Every day I have numerous reminders about how big I am and how much weight I need to lose. I'm aware I have a problem. I just don't make any changes or do anything differently. And I know it's my own fault that I'm this way and that I have to be the one to change if I want to get any better.

I made some birthday resolutions which you can read on this blog here. One of those resolutions was to get healthy. Let's face it, losing weight is always a resolution for me but somehow I feel different about this. I'm going to repeat this again, I'm only 22 for goodness sake! I want to have a whole, full life ahead of me. I don't want to spend my time hiding in my room because I hate the way I look or dreading going out with my husband or friends for fear of people judging me because of how fat I am. This is going to be a slow process but somehow it's going to happen. I'm committing myself to workout every shift and work and then on my off days, go to the rec center to do various other things. I'm really interested in doing yoga and pilates classes because I sure do enjoy them. I know exercise alone isn't going to solve all my problems though, eating healthy is going to be even more important than ever. Who knows where I'm going to end up with all of this but it's a chance to improve myself and change the one thing I truly dislike about myself.